So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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