Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
