After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
