We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
