Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
