Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
