4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
