idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
