Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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