using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
