I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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