and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
