I wish I could punch you in the face.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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