this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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