If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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