Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
