i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
