maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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