Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
