You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize