Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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