I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
if i died would you start the facebook group?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize