I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
