Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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