Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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