I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
