Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
