just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
