last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
