it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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