My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
