i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
