two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
