He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
