And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just gargled with NyQuil
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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