I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I got chris browned last night
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
