GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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