The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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