Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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