Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
