this beer tastes like vomit already
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
