dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
