I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
