I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i came on her dog
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
