So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize