You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
