How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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