I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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