So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
