I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
