I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
