Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
