I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
