zippers are such a cool invention
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I still have a little drunk in my system
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
