so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
