...so i touched it.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
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