No stitches, just platelets and will power
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
