The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
