i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
