Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
