So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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