love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Are my feet made of real feet?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
