I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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